With a few modest investments you can emulate a television production set: multiple high-definition camera angles, a professional-grade microphone, photographer-quality lights, and a hard-wire LAN connection. Yes, you could just use your laptop’s camera and microphone, but the quality will likely be insufficient for the intimacy you want to create.
One of the most critical facets of a successful online event is being able to see and hear what’s happening. The bar mitzvah boy wore a tie and shorts mom wore a dress but went barefoot. For us, that meant different things for different folks - friends just waking up in different time zones could join in PJs, coffee in hand, while other family and friends used the bar mitzvah as an excuse to dress up! At home, we donned festive clothes but made comfort a priority. One way to set the tone is to encourage people to dress for the occasion. Strive for a festive and comfortable vibe Friends who hosted their son’s bar mitzvah a few weeks prior to ours sent kits to relatives and friends with kippot and candy to throw at the screen. We also sent a program and links to a digital siddur in advance to let them know what to expect.
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We sent a beautiful, digital invitation, and shared instructions with our guests for how to get online. It’s your job to help your guests do this. While you can hold out aspirations for doing an synagogue service IRL or hosting a blowout party at a later date, you should let everyone know to treat the Zoom mitzvah as the main event. If you’re concerned about the perception that an invitation is a request for presents, make clear in the invite that no gifts are allowed, or specify a charity for guests to donate to, if they so wish. A bar or bat mitzvah is a rare opportunity to gather together in a socially-distanced world, and people are craving that connection right now. Online is virtually unlimited, however, and while we extended a few last-minute invitations to old friends or distant relatives, we regret that we didn’t think expansively enough about our guest list. Be generous with your guest listįor an in-person bar mitzvah there is often a limit to the number of invited guests. And, for some kids who get nervous about being the center of attention or are overwhelmed in large crowds, an online event can be ideal. Plus, no one has to travel and the cost is much less. There are real benefits to a Zoom mitzvah, including that everyone has a front-row seat for the event, and there’s a permanent recording for posterity. Your child’s online bar mitzvah doesn’t need to be a poor substitute for the “real” thing - it’s time to embrace this new normal. In a time when it feels particularly important to create opportunities for joy whenever possible, here is what we learned to make the occasion a success: Adjust your attitude Get our complete guide to planning and hosting a Zoom bar/bat Mitzvah, or a hybrid in-person/Zoom event, here.
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